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Thursday, August 3, 2023

Dream wherever you are welcomes you, may your trials end in full bloom

 Good news! I got my visa approved. It's just the first step of many as far as paperwork goes in working in Thailand for the next two years but for now, it's just what I needed!

The email requesting a new flight date came 11 business days after applying and after a terse phone call with the embassy, which left me more confused than ever, I took a leap of faith that I could leave in the next 5 business days made a new flight. I sent in all the information before the end of business that day and voila, an approval showed up the very next day!!! Much to my happy and relieved surprise :)

I'm excited to get there but also sad to leave. I'm going to miss my family the most. I think I'm more worried about them missing me and worrying about me than I am anything else. I hope they can trust that I'll be safe and sound and feel at ease and happy for me. 

I wonder the kind of person I will be in Thailand. Will I be happy and at ease, will my heart be open? I want to live like that. I want to experience life to the fullest, it's one of the reasons why I'm going. I also just feel I want to, without no other rhyme or reason. I'm just following my heart.

Through this process I've had to remind myself over and over that it'll all work out well for me and to leave it up to God. I've had moments of freak out but not as many as I thought. 

I want to stay open even when I'm scared and know that I can handle anything life throws my way, and I can respond appropriately when I need to. Keep checking in with my gut and trust in myself. So I can enjoy the moment (and not try to make it go by quicker or avoid it. No more hiding). 

As far as friends go, I know I will make them and be happy there. I want to make sure my social life thrives just like my professional life. I want to feel connected there so I won't feel hug deprived from my family so far away. 

I also plan to take care of my mental health and physical health by joining a pilates studio and just keeping myself active and happy with the time I have there. I won't be there forever so I want to take advantage.

Back to the friends, the ones I have here, I will miss dearly. I've built a community around myself that I'm very proud of, and I plan to take this energy to Thailand. I've come to realize that the more I believe in myself and that my vibe will attract the right people and just to stay focus on having fun, the more good friends I will make. I let go of the old energy of fear that made my shy and unsure and left me on the vibe of that, making other friends in that vibe.  

I also noticed recently, maybe because my friends are younger than me, that I feel like I've been taking care of them, doing things for them, driving them around, going where they want to go, driving down to them and helping them with big life decisions. I also know they and the universe take care of me in kind. I plan to speak up more and check in with myself more before agreeing to do things for others, just an extra pause to decide if it's what I want to. I have good boundaries but I'm ready to make them better. I have no intention of backsliding to where I was when I let people do whatever they wanted (because it was easier since they were so picky). Now I decide if I want to or not and I'm happy to say no if that's the case.

It's a work in progress but it's a good progress. 

I also truly hope to affect the lives of my students in wonderful ways. I pray now that they are already blessed before I even meet them. I also pray I can enjoy my work life to the fullest and feel respected and appreciated. 

That's all for now! Countdown: 5 Days till liftoff.

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